Mind vs Heart

Well, things have settled down since being home from my vacation. We had a very adventuress and wonderful time. I am telling you we made so many memories and laughs to last a life time. But I have to tell you, I had a few challenges that I told myself I would address when I got home. These were what I thought were thoughts and feelings that I kept to myself, but my sister noticed them and she kindly told me at one point…..”Girl for all the talk you do and all the healthy life style you preach, it sounds like your mind and your heart are at a war with each other.   You know what? She is absolutely right. Completely right. I didn’t think it was so transparent but apparently it is. At least to someone who knows me real well, as she does. I figure it’s time to get a few job descriptions to figure out what the "mind and heart's" responsibilities are.

I need to get my mind to do its job and my heart to do its job and stop the confusion between the two of them. In order for me to make good decisions and feel good about those decisions and when I make bad decisions, not to beat myself up internally. Life is too short and frankly at my age I thought I had this all figured out. Every day is a challenge and I thought I would get to a point where life would become a breeze. The thing is I feel I can do a better job at taking care of myself and sometimes I just need a tune up to get myself back on track. I think I will do a better job if let my mind and heart know what each of them are responsible for doing. If we clear that up maybe I can rest and just let them do their own job.

The main reason I don’t always feel good about the way I look and feel after all my hard work of living a healthier life is because my mind and heart are thinking and feeling in opposite directions, I think I have mistaken the purpose of heart and mind. The heart is like a compass; its purpose is to guide the direction our lives should take. Our heart takes a bird's eye view on our life and says “this is where you are and this is the direction you need to go.” Our mind, on the other hand, isn’t made for making purpose-driven decisions. The nature of the mind is that it conceptualizes, organizes and compares information. It does this as best it can and says “here are the facts, here are both sides of the story.” If we compare our mind and heart to a courtroom, our mind would be the defendant and the plaintiff (both stories) and our heart would be justice or the judge (the right direction). The reason we’re so troubled by this conflict of "Mind vs. Heart" is that the mind is not only playing the prosecutor and the defense, but has taken over the role of the judge as well. The mind should never be the judge. The mind's job is to compare and contrast. To sort things out and say “this is what I’ve got, do what you want with it.” But more often than not, our mind isn’t doing that. Our mind is making our choices.



What’s worse, is even when we don’t need our mind to be at work, it’s still going. Comparing and contrasting everything. Brooding, mostly. Have you noticed that when this is happening, your mind is getting in the way of your experience? Just a few examples of this that come to mind are: watching a sunset, or being with family and friends. A mind really doesn’t need to be thinking while doing these things. Sometimes I feel like my mind is going in so many directions and it's hard to calm it down. There’s no point at all for the mind to be doing this. Your heart should just be in the here and now.                 


I figure that my mind needs to give me all the facts that it has, or get the facts and give them to my heart. Then I need to listen to my heart. My heart will know what to do to. I need to trust my heart but more importantly I need to listen to my heart. 

While on my vacation I needed to listen to my heart and ease up on myself. My heart only wants the best for me.  I am not in my thirties any more.  I am almost fifty years old but sometimes my mind thinks I am still a kid. I just thought this tug of war with myself would be over by now, but I suppose as long as I am on this earth I will always be dealing with some internal challenges.  I need to listen to my heart, and yes sometimes listen to my sister too.  Thanks Debbie for making me look in the mirror and tell myself I am beautiful no matter what size, shape or what age I am.  You are too and I love you.  Divas…..we really need to stick together to pull strength from each other. 

Key West Here I Come !

I am heading to Key West, Florida with my husband and my sister and her husband. My husband and I are turning the BIG 50 this year. So, instead of throwing each other a party we decided to go to Key West. It will be so much fun to have my sister and her husband along with us. Here are a few good points on how a vacation can work to help us feel good in the long run. If you can’t get a way, a “Staycation” is the next best thing. Turn off your phone and computer and plan some daily activities. The point is to relax and defrag from the everyday routines and stress.

• Vacations Promote Creativity: A good vacation can help us to reconnect with ourselves; operating as a vehicle for self-discovery and helping us get back to feeling our best.

• Vacations Stave Off Burnout: Workers who take regular time to relax are less likely to experience burnout
 
• Vacations Can Keep Us Healthy: Taking regular time off to ‘recharge your batteries’, thereby keeping stress levels lower, can keep you healthier. Anything that can keep us healthier I am all for.

• Vacations Promote Overall Wellbeing: One study found that three days after vacation, subjects' physical complaints, their quality of sleep and mood had improved as compared to before vacation. These gains were still present five weeks later, especially in those who had more personal time and overall satisfaction during their vacations.

• Vacations Can Strengthen Bonds: Spending time enjoying life with loved ones can keep relationships strong, helping you enjoy the good times more and helping you through the stress of the hard times. In fact, a study by the Arizona Department of Health and Human Services found that women who took vacations were more satisfied with their marriages.

• Vacations Can Help With Your Job Performance: As the authors of the above study suggest, the psychological benefits that come with more frequent vacations lead to increased quality of life, and that can lead to increased quality of work on the job. After all, your mind has been refreshed. Employees have to take a vacation.....you’re not a Hero because you never take them.

• Vacations Relieve Stress in Lasting Ways: It should come as no surprise that vacations that include plenty of free time bring stress relief, but research shows that a good vacation can lead to the experience of fewer stressful days at least five weeks later! That means that vacations are the gift to yourself that keep on giving. YAHOOO!

The bottom line is that taking a good amount of time away from the stresses of daily life, can give us the break we need, so that we can return to our lives refreshed and better equipped to handle whatever comes. I really need a vacation. I pray that this vacation comes without any stressors. It seems like the last few vacations I took, came with added stress. I am praying for a fully relaxed and stress free vacation.

Okay, it’s got to be five o’clock somewhere!

Key West Here I Come!

Adorable Candy Centerpieces

I want to share these cute centerpieces my daughter Nicole came up with.

It was my granddaughters first birthday last week and Nicole came up with the theme "Sweets For Our Sweetie". She had a little candy section on the food table and the birthday cake was decorated with a beautiful picture of the birthday girl along with candy made from cake icing.

So, Nicole thought these candy centerpieces would be perfect. They sure turned out great and we had so much fun making them.

The supplies needed are : mason jars or jelly like jars, glass candle holders, styrofoam balls, Dumdum pops. stickers, we used cupcake stickers, sticking with the theme. Also needed, is a glue gun, glue sticks, lots of candy, and ribbon. The candy in the jar can reflect any theme, such as summer type candy, Easter candy and so on. We tried to stick with pinks, reds, and white candy.

First you snap the lollipop sticks in half and start filling in the styrofoam balls starting from the top and going around. Leave an area big enough at the bottom so you can press into the jar. Then fill the candy in the jars and add some ribbon to the top of the jar, decorate the jars however you like.

Next you press the bottom of the candy filled ball into the jar. Just enough so it sits into it. Then remove it.  Next, hot glue into the groove area of the styrofoam ball. Then press the candy ball onto the candy filled jar. Wallah! How darn cute are these?